I wish Phillipians 1:29 was not in the Bible.
“For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake.” Writing from a Roman prison, the Apostle Paul declares that suffering is not only inevitable, it's “granted.” In other words, it is gifted, designed, appointed, and assigned to us by an all-knowing, all-powerful, and ever-present God.
And he tells us why. “For his sake.” In every disappointment, heartache, and difficulty God is allowing something to happen to us for the sake of Christ.
“For Christ sake!” More often than not when I hear those three words strung together it is an expletive, an explosive outburst of anger muttered by someone who is experiencing unexpected and inexplicable pain. I have no idea how “For Christ's sake” became an expletive but I wonder what would happen if those of us who actually know Christ would let those words echo in our hearts when we encounter pain.
What if “for Christ's sake” was the ultimate and final answer to the question, “Why God?” What if we did the theological heart work required to interpret every disappointment and difficulty through the grid of God’s providential purposes to exalt Christ and advance his gospel?
This week my friend Garrett Higbee, challenged me and a room full of over 100 pastors and wives to take inventory of the inevitable difficulties and disappointments those of us in ministry will encounter. He listed categories of suffering that cause ministry leaders to stall out, things that keep us from moving forward into new seasons of shepherding people who often are the sources of our disappointments.
Here was his list.
Unforgiven offenses. Because bitterness defiles, we must have a heart posture of forgiveness and be prepared to reconcile whenever possible. (Romans 12:9-21)
Unlamented pain. Because pain hardens or numbs us, we must lament pain vertically offloading our complaints into the ears of God. (Psalms)
Unresolved conflict. Because conflict makes us isolated and irritable, we must strive to keep peace.
Unmet expectations. Because disappointments make us feel like victims, we must right-size or die to certain expectations.
Unrested soul. Because soul weariness can make us want to quit, we must seek Christ as a rhythm of soul-rest so we can do the work that matters most. (Matthew 11:28-30)
Unconfessed sin. Because sin makes us hypocritical and hinders the Spirit, we must confess early and often. (James 5:16)
Unmourned losses. Because sadness debilitates, we must admit and mourn losses to God and mourn the many losses of ministry. (Matthew 5:4)
Of those seven categories, the one the Holy Spirit gently called to my attention was “unmorned losses”. I took some time to catalogue the things I’ve lost in the last three years. I was surprised how many losses the Lord has providentially allowed. The loss of my final parent. The loss of a title I loved, “Pastor Trent”. The loss of positions of authority and influence. The loss of geographical proximity to friends and family. The loss of the family dog. Not to mention all the losses of my beloved Oklahoma Sooners.
My losses pale in comparison to the losses others have experienced, like my friend, Pastor Luke Ahrens who lost his wife, Jensine this week to cancer at the age of 45.
I don’t like to lose. I like to avoid loss, deny loss, and if necessary avenge loss.
In an effort to avoid loss, I overwork and overthink lest I am perceived as a loser in comparison to someone who works harder.
Or I deny loss. Rather than allowing myself to grieve or cry, I try to convince myself that the pain is not all that great. I tell myself that mature Christians “rejoice always”. I’m often too proud to admit I am vulnerable, weak, wounded, and in need of care.
Worse yet, I want to avenge the loss. Rather than forgive, believing, “‘vengeance is mine’, says the Lord’”, I let my mind devise ways I could settle the score. What a waste of energy in a fallen and unjust world. What a terrible way to live.
I am learning the only spiritually and emotionally healthy way to deal with loss is to mourn loss. Admit to God and others…
"What I loved has been taken away."
"I’m really sad about it."
"I don’t understand why."
"I’m not sure how I lost it."
"I don’t know how to get it back or even if I should."
"I don’t know how I can keep going without it."
But then finding rest in the gospel…
"God, you know what it feels like to suffer loss."
"You let go of what rightfully belongs to you."
"In the loss of your life, you gave me life."
I believe your promise that 'no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.' (Mark 10:29-30)
So, when I suffer loss in the days to come and I don’t understand why, I will exclaim by faith that I know it is “for Christ’s sake.”
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