No Enduring Relationship Without Forgiveness

If you dare to enter any relationship, whether friendship, marriage, or church, you run the risk of being offended. Every offense is a test that reveals how deeply we believe the gospel. Either we will extend the forgiveness that we have received from Christ, or we will make others pay for every offense.

Last month, I had the privilege of officiating my youngest daughter’s wedding. As the father of the Bride, I got to share the final words of preparation with Leah and Ben as they dared to courageously committed their lives to one another in holy matrimony. Knowing the wedding and the honeymoon would soon be over, I risked bursting their ceremonial bubble with these words.

“Leah, at times, Ben’s imperfections will hurt you. Ben, at times, Leah’s imperfections will hurt you. Every enduring marriage requires many minor acts of forgiveness and several major acts of forgiveness. At the end of your lifetime, you will either leave a legacy of brokenness, bitterness, and regret or a legacy of love, faithfulness, and forgiveness. There are no enduring marriages without forgiveness.”

The same is true for your relationship with the church.

If you dare to commit yourself to Christ’s church, her imperfections will soon hurt you. (And yours will hurt her.) There are no enduring churches without forgiveness, grace, and unshakable commitment.

But if you don’t commit yourself to Christ’s church, the imperfections of this world will soon overwhelm you. The world will leave you feeling lonely when it discovers that your imperfections are quite annoying, too.

Church is where imperfect people dare to gather together, extend grace, and exhort one another to follow Christ more closely. Without commitment to one another, we will soon drift not only from community but Christ as well.

Church is where we are reminded that God takes every offense personally and will bring justice in his timing. That is why the Apostle Paul exhorts the church, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.”

Committing yourself to a church (or spouse or friend) is honorable in the sight of all. Why? Because forgiveness honors Christ.

The grace and forgiveness required to stay in a relationship with imperfect people honors Christ, who, though perfect, committed himself to very imperfect people like you and me. If you find yourself standing at what you perceive to be a safe distance from imperfect people in imperfect churches, you are actually at a greater risk of being hurt than you realize. We all need the encouragement, protection, and direction that comes from Christ, uniquely expressed in the context of a church community.

Mark it down, New City Church will soon disappoint and maybe even hurt you. But if you take the risk, you will also find a genuine community of people who are attempting to honor Christ through quick forgiveness and enduring commitment to one another, as those seeking to honor Christ who has forgiven us.