Shaping Children Like Arrows

With the arrival of my first grandchild, I'm experiencing flashbacks to the overwhelming sense of responsibility and naivety I felt when my first child arrived. I knew it was my job to protect and direct this helpless human, but how to do it was a mystery to me.

Then I discovered Psalm 127:4: "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth." God has given parents a powerful metaphor to help them understand how to prepare their children to fly. We are to shape them "like arrows."

In FamilyLife's "Art of Parenting" series, Dennis Rainey helps parents understand their role by identifying four essential components of an arrow and how they parallel what a child needs from their parents.

The Shaft: Building Character

The shaft represents the internal character a child needs to fly straight. Just as the shaft gives an arrow its strength and stability, parents are called to develop godly character in their children. God's word makes it clear that every arrow arrives bent. Our children don't naturally incline toward selflessness, goodness, and patience. These character qualities must be shaped by parents through continual exposure to truth and ultimately the grace of God.

2 Peter 1:5-7 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.

The Cresting: Establishing Identity

The cresting represents a child's identity. The cresting on an arrow is a unique mark or signature provided by the craftsman who made the arrow, showing who it belongs to. Similarly, our children need to understand their primary identity as citizens of God's kingdom with loyalties that transcend this world.

Our children are growing up in a culture that tells them they can choose whatever gender they want and accomplish anything their hearts desire if they want it strongly enough. But loving parents teach their children that gender is assigned by God and they can only be who God created them to be. Our identity is received, not achieved through academics, athletics, appearance, or attention. For believers, our primary identity is as God's beloved child and citizen of God's kingdom.

God has put His cresting on those who belong to Him, and that determines who gets to set the direction the arrow flies.

Philippians 3:20 "But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ."

Colossians 3:1-3 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."

The Fletching: Guiding Influences

The fletching represents a child's influences and relationships. The fletching guides the arrow's path after it leaves the bow. Similarly, the relationships and influences that have access to our children will either keep them flying straight or blow them off course when they are out of our sight.

One of a parent's greatest responsibilities is to protect their children from the flood of ungodly influences available through technology. In the early years, it's easy enough to say, "My child simply will not have access to screens." That works until our children have friends who have access to screens. That's when our children need internal filters and discernment to choose wisely.

Exposing our kids to godly adults who reinforce the values we cherish can be invaluable. Steering our kids toward positive influences who are safe and fun is essential.

2 Timothy 3:1–6 1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions,

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

The Arrowhead: Kingdom Impact

Finally, there is the point or arrowhead. The arrowhead represents a child's impact. The arrowhead gives purpose, power, and impact to the arrow. Similarly, parents help children discover their unique God-given purpose and prepare them to make kingdom impact in the world.

A godly parent helps a child answer ultimate questions like, "Why do I exist?" and "What is my purpose?" In a broken world full of need, children need to understand, "I can make a difference. I can lead change. I have unique gifts. I have a God-given mission." Family mission trips and serving opportunities can help children develop a heart for the world.

John 17:14–18 14 I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 15 I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 17 Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.

So parents, do you understand your role? Shape your children like arrows. Children are like arrows in the hand of a warrior. That means we parents are like warriors in the hand of God.