Stay In Your Lane

I am a chronic over-reacher. I don’t mean an overachiever. I mean an over-REACHER.

The first time I heard the concept, “stay in your lane”, I was being trained in CPR. I had been a fitness instructor at a gym and we all were required to be CPR proficient. The video we watched showed a medical team trying to do each other's jobs as a dummy patient was on the table, coding. As several people reached for the paddles and several people were attempting to count, the ensuing result was chaos. The directive to “STAY IN YOUR LANE” then came on the screen in large letters. The medical team was seen trying again, this time with each person keeping to their assigned roles. The process went smoothly and the patient's heart was returned to a normal rhythm.

“Stay in your lane” is a concept over-reachers have a hard time with. We think everything that we see as a need, or even a preference, is our responsibility. I often hear my husband say, “Honey, I’ve got this.” He is referring to things as simple as finding a parking space or driving down the road or leading the discussion in a ministry meeting. In my attempt to help, soften, or control, I over-reach.

When we planted Gospel City Church, I remember everyone had at least one job to do at the church and many people had several. I felt like as the church planting pastor’s wife, I needed a job too. I asked if I could be on the Greeter Team and was told, “No, we don’t want to tie you down to a certain place.” I remember wondering what in the world I was going to contribute to this new church as the pastor’s wife if I didn’t have an official job to do? I soon found out. As I served on the worship team every Sunday at first, then every other, in the 4 year old classroom two Sunday’s a month, leading women’s ministry, hosting several small groups in our home, involved in our local homeless shelter, making meals for every woman in the church who had a need, or at least sending a card, and countless other opportunities that I said yes to.

I really loved them all! But as I said yes to more and more, I was never at rest; not internally and certainly not externally. I have friends who would say they are under-reachers. They tend to leave everything to God and do nothing. Their reasoning, I’m told, is, ‘if God wanted it done, He would do it Himself’. This leaves out the fact that we get to join God in the work He is doing here on earth. We have the privilege of being His hand and feet to a world that does not know Him. Seeing God at work brings joy and a soul rest that I don’t want to miss out on!

This month through Psalm 16 and a new Parakaleo tool, God confronted my chronic overreaching. I tend to see whatever concerns me as my responsibility; something I need to do something about. But the reality is, the concerns that I have in this life are endless. I can never address or fix them all and trying only leaves me anxious, busy and exhausted. What if instead, I choose to rest in God’s Sovereignty and goodness, letting Him do what is His to do? Instead of assuming I am to help, what if I stop and ask the Lord, “What would you have me do?”

Psalm 16 tells us that God holds our lot. Our boundary lines have fallen for us in pleasant places. As an overreacher, I never considered that I have boundary lines or that they are good. God has no boundaries. He owns all the lanes! He is able to give, bless, change, move as He pleases. As a finite human, I have limits. God is the One who has set my limits and they are good, good for me and those around me. When I overreach, I seek to control things that aren’t mine to control and that has brought anxiety.

Psalm 16:8-9 I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.

Notice this verse says, “I have set the Lord before me.” I tend to set my agenda and my concerns before me. What if I chose instead to set the Lord before me, asking Him what is on His agenda for all of these concerns of mine? As I’ve simply set the Lord before me this week, bringing my concerns to Him and leaving them there, I have been able to work from a place of rest.

Our house is on the market right now in preparation to move to St. Augustine, Florida to plant another church. I have absolutely no control on who will be interested in buying it but God does. Acts 17 says God determines the times of our dwelling places. So I clean the house, stage it and pray, leaving it in my Father’s hands.

I have no idea who God will bring to help us plant the church, or who He will bring for us to shepherd. That is in His realm of responsibility. So we pray, meet new people, and cast vision from a place of rest, knowing my Father is in control. As we wait, watch, pray and work, He will build His church.

My adult kids are in town this week. As a chronic overreacher I am typically on pins and needles trying to anticipate their every need and desire so they know I love them and am here for them. I’m trying to step back, listen, pray for them and trust that the work I’ve done for them for 30 years speaks loud enough.

As I’ve simply set the Lord before me this week, bringing these concerns and others to Him and leaving them there, I have been able to work from a place of rest. I need the Lord to protect me from myself. To teach me to stay in and embrace the boundary lines and lanes He has set for me. To help me look more quickly to Him than myself to meet the needs and concerns all around me. He is faithful. He is able.

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me. Your mercy O Lord endures forever. You will not forsake the work of your hands. Psalm 133:8